I have been watching Lucifer on Netflix. A while ago, in fact, and I started again recently.
It reminded me how much I recognize my ideas, questions and - sometimes - answers in the main character. I guess that can't be good, right?
Anyway, with Lucifer on my mind, I keep thinking of his eternal question "So... tell me, what is it that you truly desire?"
The answer that popped into my mind was: I want someone to see me, get me and love me. I started asking myself if this is a way to get someone else to 'validate' me, to agree, to approve, to make me feel worthy... (because I have been re-reading a book by Dr Schnarch who talks about this and about the way we should self-validate instead of looking for others to validate you).
But I think not. I don't wish to be validated, to feel approval and encouragement for who and what I am. I sometimes just don't know who and what I am, but that's another story.
However I do wonder, am I Schrodinger's cat? If no one sees me, do I actually exist? And how would this translate to the other parts of what I wish for? If no one gets me - is there anything there to be understood? If no one loves me, is there anything there to be loved?
