How many ways to feel you're losing it are there?
I wonder, as I get the feeling quite often. And for various reasons, not for
doing the same dumb thing over and over again. At least I am creative.
A simple example, of which I already talked on this blog: I feel I am losing
my mind when I see (my) socks everywhere in the house.
Every.f@$%ing.where. And I am the one leaving them there, there’s no mysterious
creature spreading socks around my house.
When I am using ten cooking pots to make one dish of food.
Or when I am ironing twenty t-shirts for one kid.
I remember ironing my jeans when I was at the University. My roommate
pointed out that, even though I am usually and no longer surprisingly crazy, it
seems that love does weird things to me. Yes, I was very much in love with
someone at that time. Not sure that was the reason, but a good excuse all in
all.
Going even further back in time, I remember studying for the famous
Baccalaureate. I knew I have totally lost it when I realized I was looking at
three different books at the same time (I think it must have been Maths,
Literature and Physics...). I went as far as thinking that I grasped some
Universal truth, that all of it makes sense and they are deeply related. And
then I closed all the books and left for the beach.
I'm in a similar situation now, as I realize I am reading several books at once.
I have one on my Kindle and not sure how many - do I even know how to count up
to there? - close to my bed. And I read some pages from one, and then move to
another and so on. I think there's smoke coming out of my ears. Might be just
the heat, though.
So what I think I'll do, as it's raining and I have no hope of going to the
beach and leaving the mess at home, is that I will focus on one and write here
something about it. Then move to the next. Hopefully it will stay in a state of
almost-controlled-mess for a while. Or I'll just feel I am losing my mind. Several times a day anyway.
I realize quantity is getting to me. It's not about one pair of socks, one t-shirt, one casserole or one book. It's about many. Lots.Tons.
That does it.
