Christmas, anyone?

Random things that (I might have been responsible for) happened today:

1. My dog (yes, got one of those now as well, and it deserves and it will get its own post) woke us up twice barking at the door. I am not sure what time it was the first time, it was 4:25 the second time - and this time it was because the cats were fighting outside. 
2. I remembered I forgot to twist the tree's top branch so that the thingy on top would be at a weird angle and would make Santa laugh like crazy (my youngest had that idea). He forgot as well so I escaped being the worst mother ever by promising him to take care of it and then not doing it.
3. My oldest left a note yesterday for Santa to sign, cause he knows our signatures and he can therefore check if one of us is Santa. I signed with "Ho, ho, ho. Santa" and he was deliriously happy that Santa exists, as it was definitely not one of our signatures.
4. I woke up and went quickly to brush my teeth before my kids would wake up and check the gifts. After the dog & cats concert during the night, my right foot ended up in my cat's water bowl, splashing the bathroom, my pj's and my slippers.
5. I tried to brush my teeth while dressing. Especially changing my pj's and slippers, as you can imagine. I ended up sneezing with my toothbrush in my mouth (tightly closed,hah!), and half naked. Pretty weird.
6. I had no coffee before 10:30 a.m. as I had to put together a Hot Wheels garage, then play baby foot and whatever.
7. The above was extremely obvious when I poured cat's (initially) solid food in its water bowl - yes, a freshly filled one due to no. 4 above. This turned up to look like breakfast cereals for cats -  my cat did not appreciate. She's not into Cheerios with water, I guess. She just looked at me like 'are you sh$%@# me??'.
8. I was so happy to finally have time to make - and drink - coffee, that I also made tea and got some fruit juice at the same time. I think I drank from 3-4 glasses and cups all day long, just because I could. And yes, one of them was a wine glass.

Nope, I kid you not. Just another day...  Merry Christmas to you all!

Today I am a frog

Do you know the Elephant and Piggie books? If you don't, you should!
The two characters - you guessed it: an elephant and a pig - are quite opposite of each other. The pig is carefree, funny and impulsive, the elephant is everything but.

And in my favorite (so far) book, the pig decides to be a frog. The elephant is shocked. The pig explains it's just pretend. The elephant doesn't even know what that is. And the dialogue goes something like this (not exact quotes, as I don't have the book near me):
Piggie: "Pretend is acting like something you are not"
Elephant: "And you can just do that?!"
P: "Yes, everyone does"
E: "Even adults??"
P: "All the time!"



 I can not agree more.

I come in layers. You remember Shrek? Yeah, I know I only have references from kids books and cartoons, but I am not worried. So give me a break.
Coming back to Shrek, I am an onion. I keep thinking there are so many layers of pretending that I don't even know if there's anything left under them. I feel like I am pretending to be an adult, pretending to be confident, pretending to know what I am doing, pretending to be calm, pretending to manage everything and anything that comes my way...
So today I might be a frog. Or an onion. I just wonder what's under it, if anything at all.

Note: if anyone wonders, in the end Elephant decides to be a cow and Piggie is extremely proud of him.

The voice

A few weeks (or is it months already??) I had a conversation with my boys to explain the concept of a voice inside our heads that could tell us mean and untruthful things.

I don't remember what examples I gave them, but it might have been something like "my mean voice tells me I am not nice, not a good mother for you, etc.". They listened and I am not sure what they understood. The idea was to let them know that it is normal to 'hear' something like that in their heads, but to know the voice tells lies and it is there just to make us feel bad.

Then yesterday evening, out of the blue, one of them asks "what is the voice saying?"... It took me a while to understand what he was talking about. So I thought about the voice and what her nasty messages have been in the past days. And I told them that she was saying I am not useful, I am not fun to be with, and so on. These were my feelings from past week-end, basically, when I was quite depressed that I can't seem to enjoy and engage with my kids without fights and desperation on both sides.

And when they heard that, each of them in turn told me to come closer, cause they wanted to tell me a secret. And each screamed in my ear "hey, the voice, go away and leave mom alone! you're just saying stupid things".

That was just - Perfect. I love you, little guys, and I would be so much less without you.

There is still hope...

We've been watching - with the kids, especially the 6-almost 7- years old one, The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. So now it's daily that I hear "the age of Men is over, the age of Orcs is beginning" or something similar. But another phrase in Lord of the Rings that I prefer is: "there is still hope".

Really not related to LOTR, I was remembering yesterday something that made me think there is still hope.

Some context around it, first. I love my kids and think they are the best. All the other kids are weird - or not as great, of course.
I especially have a hard time accepting that kids can be mean for no apparent reason. And I don't know a cure, so I have no suggestion, I am just complaining in a totally non constructive way.
I don't like others' kids when they whine, cry, shout and are being mean just for the fun of it. Mine can do those things, but they are mine, you know what I mean?
So this means that I especially don't get teenagers - boys and girls, but for different reasons. Anyway... It happens that I see teenagers and pray that my boys will never be LIKE THIS :-) That they won't wear weird clothes, behave as if no one else existed, be loud and inconsiderate... yup, I am an old bitchy lady, apparently.

Now back to hope. One of the afternoons I spent with my kids I brought them to a fast food with a play area. I let them play, argued with them it's time to leave after two hours, etc. Once in the car, about half way home, I realize that the favorite stuffed animal of my youngest one is missing. He lost it in the play area, of course. So after bitching about it, I make a U-turn where I am not supposed to and go back to the fast food restaurant. The so-called stuffed animal is not really stuffed, and it is in a very bad shape, because it has been very loved by my son. So it's an ugly and smelly thing, I was pretty sure no one would take it.

Once we arrived at the fast food, we went straight up to the play area, and we explained the situation to the staff and to the kids there. One of the staff actually went through all the slides, balls pools and games to look for it.
What gave me THE hope I keep mentioning since the beginning is that all the kids did the same, shouting "Diiiidiiiiiii" (the name of the beast is Didi), as if the monster could answer. It became a treasure hunt adventure and all joined in. This made me forget the annoyance of doing the U-turn, losing time and my post-fries crankiness.

Everybody was trying to help my kid retrieve something important to him. There was no question asked, it just seemed obvious this is what they needed to do.

There is still hope.