Well this will be weird. For the first time I am using a tablet to
write and because the keyboard takes so much space I can’t even see what
I am writing. It promises to be fun…
Anyway back to the topic I picked this time. Did you ever consider if
you are a totally different person at work than at home? I will try not
to think some of my colleagues are reading this…
I grew up with comments from the people who more-or-less knew me
saying that I don’t care about other peoples’ feelings, that I am sooo
confident, always know what I want and go for it, blah blah … Even one
of my teachers said at some point that I am like a nice candy filled
with caustic soda (I hope the word actually exists in English).
I usually thought the descriptions were accurate. I recently (like 3
years ago?! God has that been so long??) got to be a manager… yeah like
managing people, as crazy as this may seem. So with all these lovely
personality traits in my mind (which is a different person, if you
recall) I moved my behavior in the opposite direction. People at the
office say I am calm, organized, I listen to them and even go too far by
not taking decisions (and letting them decide) when I probably should
“impose” something. My own husband is laughing when I tell him what nice
things my colleagues are thinking-or at least saying- about me.
So the question is (there had to be one, right?) Who am I? Why can I
be understanding and listen to people at the office, but a (screaming)
maniac at home? Am I compensating something? My own “desguise” at the
office? My husbands indecision and lack of interest in any kind of
change? (I am obsessed with change, by the way, and that applies in both
lives/personalities/context/whatever).
So maybe there is some common ground between the monsters living inside me, but the rest is chaos?
I am still amazed I can appear calm and quiet when I am arguing with
myself in my head all the time. But at least I am having fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment