What’s bugging me today? Just how random our lives actually are. I
started thinking today when stretching at the gym (apparently too much
physical effort involved, so my brain was feeling useless)… what would
have happened if I didn’t choose to have as boyfriend my best friend’s
crush? What would have been the “butterfly effect” on this – not so
small and insignificant, maybe – decision? And then I just got swept
away by all the questions…
What if I wouldn’t have split up with my ex? Would he have left the
country after all? What if I hadn’t insisted that my parents move
from their old flat? Would they be happier? What if I would have chosen
a different university to attend? Would I have met my husband after
all?
Yes, pointless “what if”s. Usually I just think that it all worked
out for the best. What surprised me in fact was the sudden realization
that my choices (maybe) changed other’s lives significantly. I guess I
never realized that before – I just thought we are what we are and we
would evolve more or less the same way, no matter who and what we have
in our lives.
Now, on a vaguely related topic, what annoys me is that I am checking
the available positions in my company and I simply don’t know what I
would like to do. I know that I spent too much time on my current
position, so I need to move. I would like to do something else, I don’t
know what. So what decision will I take? A random one… meaning I am
trying to chat with all the managers looking to fill a spot in their
team, see what they are looking for. Maybe I will find something
interesting and my life will change “randomly” again. I wonder if this
more-or-less random act will impact others that much…
* Maybe “random” is not the right word… “unpredictable”, but also
“inter-dependent” might be better – but such a complicated expression…
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